Just recently I went to a lecture from Marshall Goldsmith. He is an executive coach and normally trains CEO's how to get better in interpersonal relationships.It was interesting but not overwhelming because there are already so many books on self improvement. What was even a little annoying during his lecture were his frequent references (almost boasting) to close relationships with CEO's, Admirals etc. In short all people that are extremely successful. These references made it a little harder for me to relate to what he said because I am not the person he was talking about. Anyway every attendee got his book "What got you here won't get you there" and so I started reading it, a little bit relucantly at first. While I read it I learned that many of the topics he discusses are very true and also applicable to Project Management. Just look at an excerpt of his 20 work habits you need to break to see if you can relate to that
- Listening without passing judgement
- Make destructive "little" comments
- Telling other people they are wrong with sentences like "no ...", "but ..." or "however ...."
- Telling the world how smart we are
- Speaking when angry
- Negativity
- Withholding information
- Failing to give proper recognition
- Claiming credit that we don't deserve
- Not listening
I found that many of the work habits above interfere negatively with my projects. The list sounds simple to change but let's consider this. Isn't it simple to say you will lose weight when you exercise and eat better? It is simple to say but it is not easy to do. So how can you break these habits?
His proposal on how we can change for the better is simple to understand but not easy to do.
- Ask for feedback
- Stop asking for feedback and then expressing your opinion
- Learn how to solicit feedback - Ask "How can I do better". This asks for advice rather than criticism and you focus on the future instead of obsessing with the past
- Make a list of people's casual remarks about you
- Apologizing
- Telling everyone that you will change, advertise it
- Listening
- Ask yourself, "Is it worth it?" before you respond (especially when you are angry)
- Don't interrupt
- Don't finish other person's sentences
- Don't say I knew that
- Don't even agree with the other person (even if he praises you, just say, "Thank you")
- Don't use the words "no", "but" and "however"
- Don't be distracted. Don't let your eyes or attention wander elsewhere while the other person is talking
- Eliminate any striving to impress the other person with how smart or funny you are.
- Thanking
I considered the book very helpful for my projects and personal development and therefore wanted to share this with you. If the above sounds true to you then get his book and read the above high level summary in more detail. If we actually improve just one or two things consistently I'm sure we will see a positive impact. I'm going to try. How about you?
