In order to learn anything we have to listen. Naturally we seem to have the ability to do that since we listen to our parents and others from early childhood on. We do it unconsciously but we do it and that is how we learn to speak. As we get older it seems to get harder to listen. We are more focused on our own interests and less on what others want. The interesting and sad thing is that the more we focus on ourselves the less we will achieve with others.
Let's look at a simple example: Wayne the Project Manager has a meeting with Mary the Controller about a potential budget cut for one of Wayne's Projects. Wayne has learned about the potential budget cut through the company grapevine and he is getting suspicious when Mary sets up a meeting with him. Wayne is preparing his defense and getting in his full battle mood even before he meets with Mary.
In order to have a meaningful and constructive meeting it would make sense for Wayne to first listen to Mary to understand her point of view better. He doesn't have to agree with her (!) but he needs to understand why she considers a budget cut. Once he has this information he can much more effectively address Mary's point of view. If Wayne prefers to just voice his frustration then he doesn't need to listen(!) and he will not achieve his objective to reverse or at least minimize the impact of the budget cuts. So listen really means that you have to stop thinking about yourself, put all your thoughts and interests aside for a moment and focus on the other person 100%. That is hard to do if you don't have a real interest for others.
You might be able to fake this for a little bit but the truth will come out quickly. Therefore stop faking interest because real interest has to come from the heart. Listen, learn and evolve!
